I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
