I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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