Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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