I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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