Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
