I should be sponsored by Trojan
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize