I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Never underestimate the power of titties
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