i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun