i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...