I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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