Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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