Don't you send me to vm
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
