I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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