You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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