is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
