I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
