D3 body, D1 cock
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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