Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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