Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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