Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
