This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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