I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
