Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
