You're completely useless in the revolution.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
