eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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