out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
