Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
