He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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