they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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