how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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