I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
