Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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