I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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