i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the condom got lost in my hair
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
