heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
