At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
