just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
