they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize