she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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