I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my being single is dangerous.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
