Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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