The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
