I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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