im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
