he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fuck appropriateness.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
