My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
