you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
