Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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