he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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