are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
