ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
