TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
