Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize