my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
