So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
