my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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