How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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