lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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