you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
