I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
