My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
